"Sir Isaac Newton discovered Gravity in the 1680’s. Before then, there were people floating all over the place, and cats and dogs and little old ladies went missing all the time!" ©
Hello world. I know I've said this before but, despite some articles suggesting it, I'm not schizophrenic. I do, however, have synaesthesia, which isn't a psychological thing.
"I watched breakfast at Tiffany's. Not the movie, just some pancakes at a girl's house." ©
"Thousands of people freaked out when War of the worlds was first broadcast on the radio in 1938. They were screaming in the streets, and smashing windows and setting cars alight. It was a madhouse. The same thing happened when Garfield was first printed! Arrh! A cat eating lasagna!" ©
"They say that you should always think outside of the box. Probably because it's so hard to get the lid back on once you're inside!" ©
Do you know how you know you're crazy? You start seeing messages in your alphabet soup! My alphabet soup insults me, calls me names. I sent a letter to Campbell's soup and they told me to try eating only the vowels! ♫
I keep hearing this quote: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among stars!" Uh, no, if you can't even reach the moon, you're going to be about ninety two million miles short of the closest star. Try shooting for a planetarium and maybe you’ll end up in a Starbucks!
My prediction is that Apple’s iWatch will be used as a lie detector.
Dear Apple. I've noticed that your new iWatch can check my heart rate, but as you probably already know, I always struggle to find my pulse on my wrist and therefore must resort to finding it upon my neck. Does this mean that I have to attach your iWatch to my neck or does it find it via Bluetooth? Thank you for your time.
I'd kind of like to go on record as saying that I absolutely don't have schizophrenia. I have synaesthesia (which is not a mental illness). I might be anxious and paranoid and tiny little seizures may do some weird things too... but honestly, I have never been schizophrenic or ever diagnosed as being one. This confusion probably all occurred after I was in a schizophrenia awareness exhibit. I suppose when you're in an exhibit about schizophrenia, one might easily make the mistake. Plus sometimes I talk in other accents, such as Irish and Southern American ones. I was probably just asking for trouble! D'oh!
Inspired by Ellen Page, Jack Black comes out as a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, because he's tired of hiding too.
NOTE - No Jack Blacks were harmed in the filming of this story.
If it weren't for Sir Isaac Newton, we would have all had Hover cars decades ago! Thanks for ruining the world, Poindexter!