Ash Lieb - Ash Lieb

Thoughts

12/23/2019

* A wishing well is just gambling for kids.

* The creature in Jeepers Creepers hibernates for years and then comes out to eat people, but somehow it had enough time to go out and get some personalised plates for it’s car.

* Miracle on 34th street has a very low opinion on what a miracle is.

* Dog years don’t exist. The length of a year is based on how long it takes the planet to revolve around the sun. Unless your pet is living on a different planet, their year is the same length as the rest of us.

Update

5/22/2018

My annoying legal battle has finally been settled. A certain publisher who “accidentally” wrote that I was schizophrenic instead of a Synaesthete has agreed to pay me $40,000, which is better than nothing. My only annoyance is that other people have repeated the error, so I will be looking into initiating legal proceedings against those publishers as well at a later date.

P.S. Synaesthesia is not a mental illness.

P.P.S. :)

Newton's apple

1/8/2016

"Sir Isaac Newton discovered Gravity in the 1680’s. Before then, there were people floating all over the place, and cats and dogs and little old ladies went missing all the time!" ©

Note: 10001

12/30/2015

Hello world. I know I've said this before but, despite some articles suggesting it, I'm not schizophrenic. I do, however, have synaesthesia, which isn't a psychological thing.

pancakes

9/15/2015

"I watched breakfast at Tiffany's. Not the movie, just some pancakes at a girl's house." ©

A cat eating lasagna!

9/13/2015

"Thousands of people freaked out when War of the worlds was first broadcast on the radio in 1938. They were screaming in the streets, and smashing windows and setting cars alight. It was a madhouse. The same thing happened when Garfield was first printed! Arrh! A cat eating lasagna!" ©

Think outside of the Box

9/3/2015

"They say that you should always think outside of the box. Probably because it's so hard to get the lid back on once you're inside!" ©

Soup...

4/16/2015

Do you know how you know you're crazy? You start seeing messages in your alphabet soup! My alphabet soup insults me, calls me names. I sent a letter to Campbell's soup and they told me to try eating only the vowels! ♫

Shoot for the moon?

11/5/2014

I keep hearing this quote: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among stars!" Uh, no, if you can't even reach the moon, you're going to be about ninety two million miles short of the closest star. Try shooting for a planetarium and maybe you’ll end up in a Starbucks!
©

i'M watching you

9/12/2014

My prediction is that Apple’s iWatch will be used as a lie detector.

To Dear Apple!

9/11/2014

Dear Apple. I've noticed that your new iWatch can check my heart rate, but as you probably already know, I always struggle to find my pulse on my wrist and therefore must resort to finding it upon my neck. Does this mean that I have to attach your iWatch to my neck or does it find it via Bluetooth? Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Ash

hmm....

6/13/2014

I'd kind of like to go on record as saying that I absolutely don't have schizophrenia. I have synaesthesia (which is not a mental illness). I might be anxious and paranoid and tiny little seizures may do some weird things too... but honestly, I have never been schizophrenic or ever diagnosed as being one. This confusion probably all occurred after I was in a schizophrenia awareness exhibit. I suppose when you're in an exhibit about schizophrenia, one might easily make the mistake. Plus sometimes I talk in other accents, such as Irish and Southern American ones. I was probably just asking for trouble! D'oh!

Breaking news!

2/17/2014

Inspired by Ellen Page, Jack Black comes out as a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, because he's tired of hiding too.
NOTE - No Jack Blacks were harmed in the filming of this story.

Xmas Xmas Xmas

12/14/2013

Newtonian blues

12/8/2013

If it weren't for Sir Isaac Newton, we would have all had Hover cars decades ago! Thanks for ruining the world, Poindexter!

Mind over matter, matter over mind.

10/31/2013

Most people think that they have complete control over their mind. The corporations let them think that.
~ Ash